. . . written by Brenda Stanger and members of the Wolfwind community, are intended to provide you with information, tools and techniques to aid you on your own journey to awakening.
Through these offerings we hope to inspire you to live your life to the fullest; embracing health, wellness, joy and peace.
I spent decades working in the Corporate world, when I came to realize that I was not fulfilling my personal needs for joy and peace in my life. I found myself caught up in the frenetic energy that results from living life as a conglomeration of separate personalities. Each of these aspects were unique with their own thoughts, beliefs, skills, energetic demands, problems and timetables. I felt as though my life was a series of unrelated fragments, each pulling me in a different direction, each building its own frenzied pace. There was no overall structure holding my life together.
The masculine or “yang” aspect of my personality spent an enormous amount of time and effort providing for and protecting my family and my physical world. Over twenty some years I emerged as Chief Financial Officer, Chief Executive Officer and Vice President of several organizations. I found myself as a leader, business planner, coordinator, employee, consultant, coach and counselor. This required a unique set of skills, personality traits, thought processes, time and attention, not to mention a full load of life energy. I was results driven. I valued accomplishments. I valued recognition. I valued success at almost any cost.
The feminine or “yin” aspect of my being spent time and energy nurturing and nourishing, healing and counseling my family and friends as I devoted my energy to raising three children. I found myself in the roles of mother, wife, friend, supporter, volunteer, coach, chauffeur, healthcare provider, counselor, healer, not to mention still being a daughter and sister to my family of origin. This again commanded its own skills, thoughts, beliefs and another bucket full of life energy.
There was a part of my being that valued simplicity, that valued silence, that took joy in recreational aspects of life, that valued the inner voice and longed to nurture my inner child. The frenetic energy, the busyness of life drowned out this quiet voice.
For many years I didn’t question this state of being. As I looked around, most of my friends were like me, hustling around frantically trying to cross items off their “To Do” lists; always complaining that they didn’t have enough time in their lives. Never getting to the things that they really wanted to do. I was no different.
Underlying this frenetic lifestyle was a strong and growing sense that “something was missing”. I attached a tangible quality to this “something”. I lived a life of “if only(s)”. “If only” I had the bigger house; “If only” I had a newer car; “If only” I took another vacation. In this world of “if only” I would never have enough. I would never feel complete. I would never feel joy.
The desperate need to have “enough” was taking over my life. I came to realize that there are two ways to get “enough”. One is to work harder, earn more, collect a bigger, better and stronger asset base in hopes of meeting this goal. The other way is simply to desire less.
My journey began with a simple question. I asked myself “What really matters?” This was the beginning of my awakening.
As I embarked on this journey of awakening, I came to realize that functioning in this world as a series of independent beings was far too inefficient and was in fact the cause of many of my life’s woes.
I discovered that my yang or masculine energies were dominant in my life. I was comfortable and confident in the professional arena. I was successful by societal measures of wealth and asset accumulation. I had all of the toys and the trips; all of the things that should have brought joy into my life. But there was no joy. Joy and peace were always just out of reach. As I strived to achieve, I took on a chaotic energy that could only be fed by drawing resources from other aspects of my life.
As I recognized the dysfunction that had become my life, I began to apply the brakes. At first, very gingerly and then, through life events beyond my control, it all came to a screeching halt. Without knowing it, I had hopped onto a new path that had a life of its own.
As I searched for solutions to both physical and emotional maladies, I became aware of the concept of holistic health. Through much training, many courses, books, workshops and life experiences I began to develop the knowledge and the skills to effect significant changes in my life.
My busyness stopped and I discovered the power of integrating all of the seemingly separate aspects of my life and consolidating my energy requirements. I began to define myself as a whole being, which integrated the personal and professional, the yin and the yang, the mind and the body, the inner world and the outer world. I brought my personality into alignment with my soul. My life took on a quality of stillness within a hectic world. I was coming back to me, connecting the parts of me that had been ignored and invalidated.
The result has been a simplification of my existence. I have discovered the true joys in life; the feeling that engulfs me when I see a child laugh or the peace that permeates my soul as I sit in silence, surrounded by redwood trees; or the joy of sitting in a kayak in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by natural beauty. The level of happiness that these simplest of events has brought into my life is so far beyond anything that I experienced through the accumulation of assets, through the “if only” process.
My journey was a series of experiments. It was not a conscious decision but rather one that emerged as I searched for a solution to the dysfunction of my life. This began as a painfully cumbersome process with many hurdles, detours, zigs and zags. I eventually recognized that I was on a journey that was not exactly self-directed. Through the many twists and turns, a variety of tangents taken, I found myself with a treasure chest of tricks and tools that I have accumulated along the way. I discovered some very simple techniques that can be employed to begin this process. None of these require an entire abandonment of ones life. There is no need to quit jobs, to leave your families and friends and head off to remote areas of the globe in order to begin to shift ones awareness. Profound change can arise through the simplest of efforts. This gift comes through awareness, through knowledge and through wisdom. One can choose to become joyful, peaceful, and an extremely productive creator of ones own life.
Imagine a place where time stands still—all activity ceases. Imagine sitting in stillness without concern that we will miss opportunities or that people will disappear from our lives. Imagine a place where we can go deep within to seek the answers to all of our questions. Imagine a place where knowledge is endless, where our access to this knowledge is free flowing and unencumbered. Imagine the peace this would bring to our souls.
It is in the stillness of “the pause” that this is all possible, and yet people have been trained to avoid stillness—thinking that it is unproductive. We have grown uncomfortable with silence. Are we afraid of hearing something in the silence that we don’t understand or that we don’t want to acknowledge?
As the world around us becomes more hectic, we participate by fueling ourselves with a frantic energy that keeps us moving in many directions all at once. We find ourselves within our own lives as mothers, fathers, wives, husbands, children, friends, supporters, employees, leaders, business planners, coordinators, volunteers, coaches, drivers, healthcare providers, counselors, healers etc. Our energy is compartmentalized into countless aspects of our beings. When our energy is segmented in this fashion it has no ability to build its power or to gather a momentum that is necessary to carry us through our life experience, let alone do it with a level of joy and peace that we are entitled to.
Picture a pot of boiling water. Our frenetic energy rushes to the top to be expressed into the world. In this state, all we can do is acknowledge the surface, seeing only the bubbles that make it to the pinnacle of our awareness. There is little time or energy to see beneath into the heart of our existence.
For many, this sends their systems into overwhelm which again drains their energy. A popular solution to such a state is to disassociate from this experience. We attempt to numb our aliveness with food, drugs or compulsive activities.
We are missing the point! This was never intended to be an “existence”. We chose this as a “life”. It is up to us to take charge and make this a life that is worth living and not just an experience to be survived.
So how do we do this? We do it through stillness, through patience.
“Patience feeds our soul much as food feeds our physical bodies”
Patience nourishes us, it sustains us, it builds power within us. It is the force that propels us. Patience is not about suppressing, ignoring or disembodying ourselves. Patience is about surrender. It is about settling into “the pause”. In “the pause”, we allow the energy to neutralize. We allow the charge to dissipate and we allow the soul to rest. “The pause” is to be seen as a rest period where we consolidate our resources, where our thoughts, which have been brought to a rapid boil, are allowed to settle, to simmer and to consolidate.
When we look at a pot of rapidly boiling water we cannot see the energy deep within, but only the activity on the surface. Only once we allow the activity to dissipate, when we allow all activity to cease, are we able to see what is at the bottom of the pot. As we all know, the greatest treats often hide at the bottom. This is what we achieve in “the pause”. We allow ourselves the opportunity to see into the depth of ourselves, of our souls. We begin to unite all the various aspects of our beings. We become connected with who we are at our core. We gain clarity around our most basic needs and desires. It is like we recalibrate our systems, our souls. We realign with our deepest nature, our truest purpose. This is when the personality and the soul can begin to align. This is when our stress level begins to dissolve.
“The pause” is a place where time stands still. One can sink into the stillness knowing that nothing will move, nothing will change, no opportunities will be lost, no people will disappear. “Nothing will be lost to you”. This is a place where one can recover, regroup and consolidate their energies. It is a place that is with you, for you and about you. Nothing else changes, nothing else matters. For these few moments, life is still, time is still. In the stillness, in the silence, this is where we can see and hear clearly. The world begins to make sense and our options clarify. It is in this stillness that we can make choices from our heart.
Most people live life as if they were on the trunk of a tree; their only choice is up or down. By entering “the pause” we migrate out into the branches, where options are abundant. Our path reveals itself to be as easy as choosing which leaf to pick. By entering the stillness we see all of the leaves, all of our options. We see the ease with which we can make a choice. Fuelled by this new awareness our path illuminates. Life becomes clear and flows with ease.
Take the time to sit amongst the branches and to look at the abundance of choices set before you. Take the time to go “into the pause”.
Once one has practiced going “into the pause” for short periods of time, there comes a recognition of how our existence takes on a life of its own. We go through periods of adjustment where people, jobs, opportunities, assets and events seem to evaporate on us.
We experience longer periods when life seems to stand still and nothing comes together for us. No matter what we try, things just seem to stand still. The things that we are used to doing seem vacant at these times. Solutions evade us. Our energy scatters looking for a solution to the discomfort of our lives. Eventually we wear down and settle into the stillness. Have we given up or given in?
In giving in we go into a stillness and we experience the state of “being”. For those of us that are used to “doing” the transition to “being” doesn’t come easily. Our egos kick in with all sorts of patterns and beliefs in an attempt to convince us that we are lazy, unwell, unworthy, unproductive, missing the boat, falling behind. Our fears tell us that we will not survive if we do not DO something. If we are not in control - life will come to an end.
Our ego was created to keep us safe. It developed many creative tools in its valiant attempts to do this. There is something about controlling our lives that is so critical to the ego. We began to believe that if we just kept moving, we could avoid harm. There is a strong sense that our basic survival depends upon us DOING something.
We are called “human beings” not “human doings”. There is a reason for this. “Being” is our natural state. This is where we not only survive, we thrive. In “the pause” is where we can just Be, where we must just BE.
It is one thing to willingly enter “the pause” for a brief period but when this state is imposed on us for longer periods it becomes confusing and unbearable. My last pause lasted about six weeks. This was a time of great frustration. I struggled trying to mentally wrestle my direction free. To see where I was going and how I was getting there. I had not consciously experienced a “pause” like this before. I was scared. I was confused. I was frustrated.
As I sought guidance in my meditation it came to me that this was indeed a “pause”. It was unlike any that I had experienced before. It seemed to be never ending. I was told that time had stopped, nothing was moving, nothing was changing, “nothing was gone to me”. And nothing would change until I was rested and had made a decision on the direction that I wanted my life to go. Everything was waiting for me to make a choice. Once I accepted this and surrendered into the process I found peace. I settled into “being”.
I had a clear vision of myself sitting in the branches calmly assessing each leaf before me. This assessment went beyond the normal intellectual process and migrated into my inner landscape. It was more an assessment through feeling than through logic. I saw each leaf as an option and I knew, at a deep level, that the choice was all mine and that there was no rush to make it. I was able to sit in the stillness – in a state of calm.
With this total surrender it didn’t take long. A week or so later I experienced an extremely frustrating weekend. As my plans fell apart I felt abandoned by everyone in my life. I was left to sit quietly by myself, to seek activities by myself.
As I broke through the frustration, I felt a shift is my perspective. It was a subtle energetic shift but it transformed my life. At a subconscious level events in my life clarified, my desires crystallized. I had made a choice. I didn’t realize this for a few days but life started to move. Things began to happen at a very quick pace. Dreams brought my direction to a conscious level. The people and events to support this direction just began to appear out of the blue. Within days my life had taken a new and exciting turn. Clarity of this path continued in my dreams and my meditations. Life became so clear. There was a new focus and a new energy to everything around me. The “pause” had come to an end and life was on the move again. It was life altering. It was a glorious feeling.
This experience transformed me. I shifted from needing to control or to drive my life - to a powerful position of trusting and surrender, of allowing my life to unfold. For the first time I surrendered into my life and allowed myself to experience the joy of being.
When I started writing this article it was going to be about stress release and energy boosting, but as I began to write, I realized that everything starts and ends with our breath. Our breathing is what keeps our heart beating, our brain working and the blood flowing through our veins. Without breath we have no life.
We all know how to breathe; it’s a natural spontaneous process. Unfortunately, due to factors such as stress, pollution and diminishing exercise, our bodies have gotten into the habit of shallow breathing. Shallow breathing does not supply our bodies with sufficient oxygen to allow it to operate at peak performance and the consequence of this is not as recognizable as other body signals.
If we require water we get thirsty and if we need food we get hungry. Improper breathing also has other affects, such as a limited ability to deal with stress, sluggishness, and inability to concentrate. Breathing is one of the most important things we can do to improve both our physical and emotional well-being. Proper breathing techniques are one of the quickest and easiest ways to regenerate our life force.
Life Force Breathing Practice is a very simple concept. Sitting or lying in a comfortable position, breathe deeply through you nose, and exhale through your mouth. This is a very effective way of bringing oxygen fully into your body, releasing that which we no longer need (CO2). For those of you who enjoy jogging or aerobic type activities it is important to breathe in this way to avoid hyperventilating.
It has been medically proven that deep meditative breathing practice done for just 15 minutes is the equivalent of an hour and a half of deep sleep. Which for those of you with busy lifestyles is an added bonus as this can be used to rejuvenate your life force in a very short amount of time. The benefits of life force meditative breathing practices include:
- Increased blood flow and slower heart rate.
- Bringing blood pressure back to the normal range.
- Reduction in anxiety by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
- Decreased muscle tension and headaches.
- Building self-confidence.
- Increased serotonin production; which influences mood and behavior (low levels of serotonin are linked to depression, obesity, insomnia and headaches).
- Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis, etc.
- Reduction of PMS symptoms
- Aids in post operative healing
- Enhanced immune system, and an increasing of “natural killer cells” which kill bacteria and cancer cells.
- Reduction in activity of viruses and emotional distress.
Our breath was meant to match the natural rhythms of the earth. Just take a look at the ocean. The tide comes in, there is a brief pause and the tide goes back out again. Our breath should also have a natural rhythm. It should flow in, after which there is a brief stillness and then it flows back out again.
When you are feeling anxiety or find your mind racing remember to breathe. First take a long, slow . . . deep breath. As you breathe in concentrate on pushing your belly out allowing the air to fully expand your lungs, hold for a moment and then slowly breathe out. Do this for at least three breaths. You will be amazed to how quickly your mind clears and the situation around you begins to feel less intense and, congratulations, you have just taken your first step into a meditative state.
To ensure you are breathing optimally it is important to remember to fully inflate your diaphragm. To do this stand in front of a mirror with your hands placed at the bottom of your rib cage. Breathe in and out ensuring your hands separate. If you shoulders start to rise imagine that you have weights attached to your hands.
As for the smokers out there, there are a myriad of reasons that people smoke. It is my belief that one of the reasons it feels so good, and people struggle so to quit, is the act of smoking actually mimics how our lungs feel when we are breathing deeply. This actually fools our body into thinking we are getting enough oxygen, at least momentarily.
As you are practicing your new breathing techniques remember to get enough fresh quality air, which will uplift your spirits, revitalize your body and help you achieve optimum health. Fresh air is “alive” with both positive and negative ions which refresh our cells, lower body temperature, improve lung functioning and kill bacteria in the air.
Not only does indoor air not have any of these negative ions essential for high energy and a positive mood, but it also contains a number of pollutants. Just step out of your house and into a warm sunny day and notice how much better you feel. Fortunately there are several ways to improve the air quality in your home.
- Get a room ion generator and put it in the room you use the most.
- Open your windows and fill your lungs with fresh clean air.
- Place several house plants in your home, thus providing oxygen and filtering indoor pollutants.
- Put a waterfall in your home, generating negative ions.
However, the most beneficial thing you can do is step outside, go for a walk and smell the roses. I guarantee, it will do you a world of good!
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